Again but I Suppose I Want You to Myself This Time

Web log Postal service by Abby McDonald

Sometimes information technology's easier to exist a spectator. When there's an event or tragedy making headlines and getting lots of attention in the media, that's often what I am. I sit down back and read other writers' words. I nod and silently say, "Amen."

Only over the last weeks post-obit the suicide of two well-known celebrities, I knew I needed to contribute more hushful acknowledgement. I watched others speak up about their own experiences with depression and bravely tell their stories, and God stirred my soul.

I know what it'south like to be in that space where yous dread waking upwards.

To look out the window and try to experience anything other than the tedious nothingness engulfing yous. After having my start child, there were days I couldn't wait to crawl into bed and slip into the abyss of slumber.

Last week I read words from a courageous one who voiced a truth virtually of us don't hear very oft: Someone can love Jesus just notwithstanding want to die. And I applaud her for information technology. These are the types of conversations more of united states need to have.

Days after I read her story, its points notwithstanding circled my mind and I found myself wondering, "Why do we so often want to remain silent virtually our own darkness?" The autopilot part of me knows the answer. People who love Jesus aren't supposed to desire to take their own lives, right? They're supposed to take faith that can heal and a spirit that finds peace in his presence, right?

Yes, these things are possible. God is able. But they aren't always the dominion. And the thought in my mind days later on I read another sojourner's words was, "Fifty-fifty some prophets dealt with this darkness."

Want to see for yourself? Elijah and Jonah, who were both servants of the Lord and heard direct from him, stated they wanted to die. (Come across 1 Kings xix and Jonah four)

These were men who not only thought nigh dying, only openly told God they wanted to.

These were men who God chose specifically to speak to and use. He trusted them and set them apart in generations filled with people who worshiped idols, bowed to Baals and turned to everything simply him to detect fulfillment.

They were not far from God, just vessels of his message. They transformed lives and brought hope. At the point they stated their anguish, they had seen God perform the miraculous. Fire from heaven at Elijah's word. For Jonah, the nation of Ninevah transformed from vile acts of brutality to repentance.

And yet, they wanted to dice.

Now, I'm non going to get into the details surrounding each man'due south journeying. Just if we read their stories, we run across ane was afraid of a crazy male monarch's wife and the other was aroused. Their desire to dice stemmed from very different emotions.

What I want to talk about today isn't their reasons, but God's response. Because there are many who think God turns abroad from these types of feelings and cries of despair. And I'one thousand here to tell you he doesn't.

Then how did God respond? Did he chastise them? Turn away and cast them into hell? Hide his face up and allow them wander in darkness?

Not fifty-fifty shut. Here are 3 means God responds when his followers want to die:

1. He comes to them in their need and allows them to rest.

God does non plough away from his children. He doesn't yell, "How dare you say such a thing!" or act as though he can't believe i of his own followers is making such a bold argument. In Elijah'south distress, he sends an angel to him with food and water. He lets him sleep and prepare for the long journey ahead. In one case he's had time to regain his strength, he follows him to Mount Horeb. To Jonah he provides shade and eases his discomfort. And although he later takes the plant away to illustrate a signal to Jonah, he doesn't leave him.

2. He gets to the heart of the thing.

God doesn't shy away from what's actually going on in these men's hearts. He asks questions. He sees the things they're non saying or request. To Elijah he asks, "What are you doing here?" (one Kings xix:9) and to Jonah he asks, "Is it right for you to exist angry?" (Jonah 4:4) God already knows the reply to these questions. He wants the men whose hearts he's after to run into what he sees.

3. He listens.

God doesn't interrupt these prophets or cut them off as they're explaining how they've arrived at this place. Once again, he knows the respond. In Elijah'due south case, he knows he mistakenly believes he's the only follower left. But he still lets him speak. He lets him say these words he's been holding onto as he traveled through the wilderness thinking at that place was no i left to serve God.

Sometimes the journeying through the wilderness is what prepares us to receive the truth.

Friend, I don't know where you are today. I don't know if you're fighting through darkness or if you're standing firm in a identify of victory today. Simply can I tell you lot God sees you lot, no affair what? He doesn't turn away from those places you go on buried.

God doesn't stand up in disbelief at statements like the ones from Elijah and Jonah. He comes close. He reaches through the gap. When we hurt, he hurts.

Talk to him today. Fifty-fifty if you don't retrieve he hears, talk to him anyway. He'due south is right there and is waiting for you lot to reach for him.

***IF Yous WANT TO DIE and practice non know what to practice: There is a way of escape. It is simple. Cull to let go of your life correct at present — in a spiritual fashion. No, this does NOT mean you kill yourself physically. It ways you pray this prayer:

"God, I don't know what to practice. I admit to you I want to die. I am at the finish of myself. I brand mistakes, I sin, I do what is wrong. I hate aspects of myself. With this, I let go to you. I enquire y'all, Jesus, to come into my middle and life as Savior and Deliverer. I admit that y'all are Lord. I allow you to have lordship in my life. Accept over. I enquire the Holy Spirit to come into my heart now. I, by receiving you, accept your forgiveness. I am now dead to sin and live to Christ Jesus. I thanks that what my middle was really searching for — was yous. I am a kid of God at present.  You will lead me in all things. You volition assistance me. I come with new hope now. Thank you to you, Jesus."

If y'all already know Jesus equally Lord, consider this prayer:

"Father, delight resurrect hope in my life. Please open my eyes to encounter you and to know your love. Please comport me in this hour where I don't know where to go forward. Please preserve, keep and shepherd my life.  In Jesus' name. Amen."

A great resource for you lot is Fresh Promise for Mental Wellness.

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Abby McDonald is the mom of iii, a married woman and writer whose hope is prove readers their identity is found in Christ lonely, not the noise of the earth. When she's not chasing their two boys or cuddling their newest sweet girl, you can observe her drinking copious amounts of coffee while writing near her adventures on her web log. Abby would love to connect with you on her blog and her growing Facebook community.

If you need to talk or you know somebody struggling, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or text with someone at the Crunch Text Line past texting HOME to 741741.

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Source: https://www.purposefulfaith.com/gods-people-want-to-die/

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